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News flash: Nice guys finish last. Aqua-Dek sources said Seversen has a long history of being an asshole. In five years at Aqua-Dek, he has alienated virtually all of his coworkers by blaming others for his failures and lying to secure promotions. Recently, he slept with an emotionally vulnerable, newly divorced coworker, only to complain about her "saggy ass" to the rest of the office afterward.

Coworkers report that Seversen frequently brags about his car, his many beautiful ex-girlfriends, and his hair. He also frequently makes asshole-ish comments about minorities, the poor, and "fatties. However, according to coworkers, Seversen's recent admission that he's an asshole takes him to a Im an asshole flash new level of assholitude. What a dick. Coworkers report that, having declared himself a supreme unrepentant asshole, Seversen gleefully explored the freedoms of his newfound role.

I guess I'm a rich, successful asshole. Guilty as charged," Seversen said. Make way for Mr. Severson reportedly grabbed his briefcase and walked out, leaving his coworkers in disbelief. But today in the conference room, when he told us all he's an asshole—that thing put him into the category of El Assholio Supremo del Mundo. He really outdid himself. Im an asshole flash to Seversen's former assistant, Janet Manning, the asshole's Im an asshole flash leap into the category of Supreme Asshole will probably only benefit his career.

Instead of hiding his assholishness and putting on a good show, he brags about it as if it's a virtue, because it benefits his career. But I don't believe for a minute that he's only an asshole for career advancement.

For Mark, being an asshole is its own reward. When asked to comment on allegations that he'd made the ultimate asshole move, Seversen did not disagree. The A. Share This Story.


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